It Doesn’t Matter

It doesn't matter really
I mean it doesn't really matter 

That he swept me off my feet
Fed me ecstasy
Worked his way into that private spot
reserved for my polar half
the one and only
till death do we part
yin of my yang

It doesn't matter really 
I mean it doesn't really matter

That he was my God
my Holy Trinity 
who poured nirvana through my lips 
quenched my hungry soul
and I deified him

It doesn't matter really
I mean it doesn't really matter

That I was 24 and he was 44
worldly, energetic and bubbly
like a cheap champagne
that I gave myself to him with no inhibitions
because I trusted him -- the only man I ever trusted -- completely 

It doesn't matter really 
I mean it doesn't really matter

That he was an alcoholic
a master manipulator
a professional liar
with a degree in deceit with no moral compass
a Stanford law-school graduate
member of the state bar of Texas 
a snake 

It doesn't matter really
I mean it doesn't really matter 

That I woke up
realized, too late, 
that the love was lopsided
so I found my wings and flew away
from Dallas to L.A. 
and I was happy 

It doesn't matter really

That he pursued me
hounded me
begged me to take him back
and it hurt 

It doesn't matter really

that he was facing life
for all that ecstasy he fed the world
so he turned to me for help
then turned on me to help himself
a snitch 
otherwise known as a plea bargain 

It doesn't matter

That the judge knows me not
never will 
never wants to 
from his perch, plays God, the Father Almighty
creator of hell on Earth  

It doesn't matter

That conspiracy is the same energy
that fed Hitler
McCarthyism 
turn in your neighbor
your husband
your wife
or get 20 to life 

No, it doesn't matter 

That I stood tall
rebuked the hierarchy
to protect my soul
nobody cares
nobody cares
in a fucked-up world
nobody cares

None of this really matters

Except that I care
I'll always care
and that's all that really matters 

Founder, Amy Povah, started CAN-DO because she is well versed on the topic of clemency and injustices associated with the drug war. You can view her full bio here.

Founder, Amy Povah, started CAN-DO because she is well versed on the topic of clemency and injustices associated with the drug war. You can view her full bio here.

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